Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
