i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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