i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
