My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
