Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
