Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
