I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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