I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
