so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
