Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
