fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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