i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
