Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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