I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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