Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
