my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
