If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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