She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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