I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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