her vagine was all disorganized.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think i have two assholes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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