Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
