We're like a lot better than the average bears
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
