why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
