Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
