he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
