The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
