North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
