bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
