# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
