he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.