Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it