I need help removing her.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down