He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dating After Heartbreak
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.