Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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