So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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