yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I skipped work to stalk him.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
