we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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