you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
