Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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