I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
