Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
