Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize