I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
