she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
