turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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