ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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