What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
