Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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