before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize