everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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