do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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