All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
