porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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