wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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