i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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