all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
