You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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