four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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