We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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