Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
