Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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