words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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