You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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