we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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