i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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