38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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