It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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