Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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