New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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